Oh what a night! Our wedding reception

Our wedding reception was held at the Oakey Cultural Centre. I chose this venue because not only was it recommended to me by everyone whom I asked, but it was great value. We were able to hire the whole hall, terrace bar and foyer for less than many of the function centres in Toowoomba or Brisbane, plus they didn’t mind me using my own caterer. It was actually a marriage made in heaven between my caterer and the venue, because she loves doing weddings there and the functions manager won’t recommended any other caterer!

My mother and her team of helpers had spent quite a lot of time the previous day preparing the hall. I had asked for flowers in bottles, like those I had seen on countless DIY wedding blogs. She had been collecting bottles ever since I got engaged I think! We hired linen from Event Illusions and the whole thing turned out amazingly lovely. It looked just like I imagined, native blooms everywhere with gum leaves and some sparkly scatters just for kicks.

We arrived exhausted after our photo shoot and fell upon the nibbles and drinks put out for us in the foyer. My new husband cracked open a bottle of expensive whiskey and shared a nip with his best man and father. After the first round my bridesmaid and I asked for one too – my goodness! It may be good stuff but it sure does burn on the way down! But we had forgotten to take drinks with us when doing our bridal party photos and were eager for a drink! After that I opted for a glass of Sauv Blanc.

All our guests we safely ensconced in the bar area, so we snuck into the main hall and took some mock First Dance and Cake Cutting photos. After that they let everyone in and we made a grand entrance to great applause. I hate being the centre of attention so I can tell you it was very uncomfortable for me sitting at the bridal table, with everyone looking at us! I think it was at that point I got sick of being the star of the day and wished everyone would stop fussing over us and concentrate on having a good time.

Our MC was a family friend, the father of C’s Best Man. He did the job well and the speeches weren’t too long or boring, a fact I was grateful for. My favorite was the Best Man’s, considering I knew he had been working on it for quite a while and was terrified!

The food was taken care of by Christine Buckley Catering. I have known Christine since I was born and she has built up a wonderful catering business that everyone in the district agrees is the best. We had an alternate drop of chicken and steak (I cannot remember what the dishes were called! But the chicken was AMAZING) and our wedding cake with berry coulis for dessert. Our beautiful cake was made by my brother’s girlfriend, topped by native flowers arranged by my mum. It was three tiers of mud – white, caramel and chocolate heaven!

I elected not to have a bouquet or garter toss. I didn’t want a bouquet toss because I myself have hated the way they’ve made me feel at weddings in the past. I have been to many, many weddings in my 26 years of singledom and from a young age, I was bullied into standing up there with the expected group of spinsters, all jokingly elbowing each other out of the way. As I got older I grew to abhor the ritual – it is meant to be fun but for me it was a cruel and public way of reminding me that I was alone, without a partner. I even remember hiding on a couple of occasions just so I wouldn’t have to stand with a tiny group of 3 single girls in front of everyone, and mime attempting to catch the toss. As I only had about 3 single girls at my wedding, I elected not to put them through this ceremonial pain and instead presented my bouquet to my mother. She was quite touched, and I was very glad that was what I had chosen to do. The garter toss, I think you can guess, was deleted due to its unbearable vulgarity. The thought of subjecting myself to that embarrassing faux-sexual goings on in front of my relatives and friends just made me feel ill. Thus, I didn’t even wear a garter, and spared my guests the whole uncomfortable affair.

Our first dance was to Brad Paisley’s “Little Moments”. It is a song we listened to a lot at the beginning of our relationship. To me it brings back memories of long weekend drives up into the mountains, and C likes the lyrics because he thinks they describe me.

After that the DJ (Veetone) played music all night long. Apparently our guests all grooved away until midnight, making the money spent on the DJ well worth it (and to think, C didn’t want to hire one!).

After such a huge day, the newly-minted husband and I we completely exhausted. We did a 'goodbye circle' then  tootled off to our wedding night accomodation - the Toowoomba Central Plaza Hotel. Fairly generic name, but probably one of the best places to stay in Toowoomba (if you don't have the budget for Vacy Hall, which we didn't. It's on my bucket list though!). 

All in all, we had the greatest of days. From the beginning, we wanted our wedding to be like a big party for our family and friends. And it was. I tell you what though - I could not have done it without the help of my mother. That lady is an organisational and styling maven!

Final days

The wedding is approaching at alarming speed. This time last week I was still complaining about work, today I'm running endless lists in my head wondering what on earth it is that I've forgotten to do. Because I will have forgotten something, mark my words.

At present I'm supposed to be sending a copy of one of our readings for the ceremony to my friend, but I'm blogging instead. So I'll probably forget that.

I came up to the farm on Tuesday afternoon to find my mother a virtual whirlwind of activity. She has lots of lists which is helpful. And she's remembering things I'm not (I thought it was supposed to be the other way around?).

Yesterday we had an appointment with our reception venue coordinator. Very happy with the venue and all the arrangements, especially my banquet tables. They are going to look awesome. The coordinator remarked that I seem pretty calm for someone getting married in a few days, and she was surprised that she hadn't heard more from me over the past few months. She said other brides are usually constantly on the phone/email/wanting meetings. I could only think to myself - what for? Surely your floral arrangements, linen hire, caterer and DJ aren't that taxing in their requirements? You hire people, they show up and do their job. Trust your vendors, Bridezilla. Trust them and all will be well.

In the afternoon I had a waxing appointment and happily gossiped with the girl about beauty maintenance whist she ripped off my facial hairs. It occurs to me that I'll never give myself an excuse to pamper myself in this way ever again - hair dye, make up, waxing, spray tan, professional hair-do, manicure... I could never justify the expense. How do those high maintenance ladies do it?

Today we went to town with dad and got him a new dress shirt and tie (very helpful shop assistant, shout-out to the young man in Tarocash Grand Central!), then trundled over to the liquor barn to look at booze. I was just guiding the purchasing, as dad and future father-in-law are doing the actual purchasing tomorrow. Knowing nothing about champagne I have instructed them to buy a middle-range one (no brut), no Yellow (which I abhor). For the white wine I have asked for a Sauvignon Blanc from Marlborough NZ (can't go wrong) and the red will be a Cabernet Merlot of some description (leaving that up to them as I don't drink red).

This afternoon my makeup artist came over and did a trial run of my face, and a spray tan. Extremely happy with the makeup (not too dramatic or OTT, I still look like myself but nicer) and the spray tan wasn't too bad. It was cold (but I expected that, having watched Toddlers & Tiaras). It just remains to be seen how well it turns out, should be able to see the shade by tomorrow. If I go full Tandoori, you may never hear from me again. Tomorrow - wedding rehearsal, last minute details and a good night's sleep. Hurrah!

Fitting and Sitting

Two weeks to go. I cannot adequately explain how quickly the time since I got engaged has flown. I have gone from a laid-back “she’ll be right” attitude to worried anxiety in the space of a few weeks.

I had my final dress fitting on the weekend, so it was back to the farm I went. I was a bit worried truth to tell, I have been feeling a bit on the large side lately and the previous dress fitting included a small struggle to do up the zip! At that point I was cursing myself for not getting a lace-up style bodice but… guess what? It fitted perfectly!

The dressmaker was very pleased – she had done some darts and hemming and the whole thing fits like a bloody glove. To top off a successful fitting they are also going to make me a birdcage veil. I have been researching and fretting about the bloody veil for about 3 months now so I am relieved to get it out of the way – AND for a cheaper price than any I could find on the internet!

We brought the dress home and it is now hanging in my mum’s spare room. She kept sneaking in there every few minutes and unzipping the garment bag to look at the dress, it was so cute. I must admit it is a glorious thing to be seen hanging up there. It’s a powerful visual reminder of how close the actual day is getting.

In the afternoon, after lunch and a little lie-down to recover from the excitement, the wedding photographers came over to do some reconnaissance. I loved that they did this and that it was included in our photo package price. We strolled around the farm talking about good photo locations, backdrops, lighting and cheesy pic ideas. It took ages but they were happy and we were happy. Afterwards my feet were so sore I could still feel them hurting when I went to bed later that night!

But those two things got me really excited about getting married.

On Sunday mum and I debated going to the local markets but then decided on a lazy day pottering about the place instead. Did I say lazy? I meant PRODUCTIVE. Mum recalled that I had mentioned getting all the place cards done this weekend (stupid me). So off to the printer and good old Microsoft Excel to print out 82 placecards in our theme font, and glue them onto the luggage tags we got from Officeworks. Then we threaded each one with some jute twine for a rustic feel.

I am really happy with the way they turned out – they look just like I imagined! They will be placed strategically in the middle of the guests’ dinner plates. They can then tie them to their bonbonierre bags if they wish.

And once they were all done, of course nothing else would do but to figure out the seating plan for the reception tables. Both of us being visual people, it became clear that we would have to clear off the entire dining table to do this. It was at this point I was glad we’d kept the numbers fairly small! So that took a while longer. When done, it felt like we’d been going for HOURS and lo – we had.

I can tell you, it was a good mental workout working out who can/should/needs/shouldn’t sit next to who – keeping exes far apart, parents close to their children, making sure everyone was sitting near at least someone they know – what a nightmare! I have no idea how society hostesses work these things out all the time.

Then we packed up all the place cards and hid the plan from my fiancée (he would only have interfered and wanted to change things) and collapsed with a profound sense of accomplishment.

There are still quite a few things to organize – mainly around confirming vendors, but one thing that has had the bottom fall out of it is my makeup artist. Turns out the bride she’d booked for the morning (and had booked well before me) wanted a later appointment so she couldn’t make my afternoon wedding. My backup had already booked someone else (as I had been rude and never answered her quote) so now I am googling like mad and taking recommendations for anyone who has my date free and will travel to the country to make me up like a painted doll!

  

It's not all about me?

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One of my twitter followers this week observed something that stopped me in my tracks -

“you are learning the inevitable truth about weddings - they aren't about you :)” - @seandoyle

This was after I had tweeted asking for an opinion about recent demands from a cousin for a wedding date. Shockingly, up to this point I had been under the delusion that my (OUR) wedding was about me (US).

My abrupt coming-back-to-reality moment came when a relative texted me to find out if we had a wedding date yet. At this point, we have been engaged a little over 2 months. I’m a fairly casual person – I see no rush in setting a date just yet. I haven’t booked a single thing, in fact. Clearly this is not good enough for some people – if I had a penny for every person who has asked me so far if we have a date, I’d be approximately $25-30 richer.

Relative in question said she was "making plans” for her family for the next 12 months and wanted to make sure that they were able to attend our wedding. My initial impression about the pushiness of the question then melted into understanding – aww, how sweet. Conclusion: for some, it is quite reasonable to have these things sorted out months in advance. My lesson: not everyone is as relaxed as me about plans. My boss remarked a few days ago that I am the most laid-back bride she’s seen in her life, and she’s been a people manager for 20-odd years.

To demonstrate the difference between me and an actual organised person, I tell the following tale. Another member of my team at work got engaged not long after me. Yesterday she told me that she has already booked her reception venue. It’s $110 a head (feel free to faint now, I nearly did) but her excuse was “it has heaps of room so the kids can run around”). She and her partner have a young boy and many of her friends have small children. So her reception choice was not about her or her husband-to-be at all – she felt such obligation to have space for the children, she used this as her primary criteria. That really makes me sad, but if it works for them, good luck to the whole affair!

I am happy to observe that there is a wonderful trend of personalisation and quirkiness growing in the wedding industry – even I can see it, novice though I am. Brides and grooms are metaphorically Taking Back the Night. Wedding blogs are full of “intimate” and “unique” ideas, or photo shoots inspired by party planning and interior decorators. White weddings are decidedly out of vogue. If you can discern the Real Weddings from the Styled Photo Shoot (something I am still learning), I believe that more and more couples are using their wedding to express their own ideas about celebrating the moment and making sure it’s what they want.

*Don’t want to be a meringue in white? That’s just dandy – choose a vintage ivory dress or a twinset in bright vermillion.

*Hate the polished look of florist flower arrangements? Do it yourself and chuck wildflowers in glass bottles that look just as pretty.

*Don’t want the drama of choosing bridesmaids? Fine – don’t have a bridal party at all (gotta say, I’m loving this idea right now).

But the more I think about it, the more I realise the ceremony and reception is for all of us – my partner and I, and those guests we choose to share it with. Finding a balance is going to be challenging, but hopefully mashing up what we want with the expectations of others (mainly, the ones who are paying for it) is achievable.

With this in mind, I need to keep my new mantra at the forefront of my planning – just because it’s always been done that way, doesn’t mean it should be.

I may still wear white – but that’ll be my choice, not because it’s traditional.