Hen's (I refuse to call it a "Night")

On Saturday my wonderful bridesmaid organised a "do". I refused to call it a Hen's Night because of the negative connotations associated with the phrase. You know what I mean. I encountered several other parties in my travels on the night having Hen's Nights and I can tell you they embodied everything I hate about the "ladette" culture that seems to be prevailing amoungst young ladies lately. Yes, I'm a snob, I know that.


My gorgeous bridesmaid knows this and suggested straight away instead of an evening drinking/watching male strippers/having a "naughty" scavenger hunt/generally being vulgar, that we go to High Tea. She knew it was something I'd always wanted to do and of course it made me love her even more that she knows me so well. I had given her strict instructions - no idiotic pink veil, flashing badges or penis straws. That paraphrenalia makes me uncomfortable in the extreme (and I think it's vulgar, and people only go along with that stuff because they feel they have to).  One cousin still showed up with penis-shaped peppermints because she just can't help herself, but I forgave her because she also made a bride bear for my guests to sign and a (tasteful, kind of) tiara with small veil for me to wear.

 

We went to the Marriott at 3pm. It was lovely. For $35 a head we got sandwiches, little tarts and eclairs, scones, tea or coffee and a complimentary glass of sparkling white. The staff were lovely and the service exquisite. They even put our napkins in our laps for us. And didn't mind that I had a teddy bear dressed as a bride in the middle of the table.

We stayed until 5pm and I got tipsy on two glasses of that lovely sparkling wine. My cousin considered buying us a bottle of the 1971 Dom but then thought it would probably be wasted on our uneducated palate.

Next we wandered down Eagle St to Jade Buddha. Now, I loathe pubs and loud events with alcohol of all kinds (including but not limited to Race Days, country shows and music festivals) but I was making an exception for this establishment. Why? Well because it's posh. And it was early in the afternoon, so we would be beating the usual crowd (a mix of people who think they are somebody, clothes horses and try-hards). We got a table easily and when the upstairs lounge bar opened (called Shadow Lounge) we went upstairs and chose a spot where we could look out at the Storey Bridge. Best view in the city in my humble opinion.

We had a few more drinks, played a game of 'how well do you know the bride' and had some tapas. Nice. I was one of four other bride-to-be's there, which was a little disconcerting. Who knew there were so many hens in the city on a Saturday night? I feel even more sorry for bar staff now.
Anyways, it was pretty much my ideal afternoon and evening - conversation and good friends. Later someone had the bright idea of continuing the evening down at The Victory with some karoke. When we were about to go in, one of my cousins turned to me and said "aren't you glad we didn't get you a six-foot tall inflatable penis?" and pointed. And lo, there was a hen up ahead, complete with veil and sash, dutifully carrying a six-foot inflatable penis.

And then I thanked my lucky stars that I wasn't her.

I called it a night about 11pm and went back to the hotel with Mum. She, my brother's girlfriend and I had booked a room at Oaks Charlotte Towers, an establishment I can recommend most readily, should you ever need to stay in Brisbane city. Great access to both the Mall and riverside.

My partner's buck's night is next weekend. His best man hasn't organised a thing, but I suspect it won't be high tea and quiet drinks on the deck.

Did you have a hen's night? What would be your ideal pre-marriage celebration?

Piquing my Pinterest - Veils

The wedding's getting close and there are still a few things I have not got. A veil being one of them. I refuse to pay $100 or more for it and have been exploring different types.
I'm drawn to the birdcage or French veil - I think it would suit my dress. What do you think of them versus a traditional veil?

Source: etsy.com via Surely on Pinterest

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Linking up with:

Hairspray and dressmaker pins

On Saturday, I had two wedding things booked; hair and dress fitting. The only hairdresser appointment I could get was 8am. Ugh, too early for a weekend.

But in hindsight, it was a good thing I did book it that early – I thought the time would be enough to have hair done, drive to town, have a coffee then go to my dress fitting around midday. As it was, I spent a good few hours in there. I must be the world’s worst hairdresser client, I hate sitting there having someone fuss over me! Come to think of it, my wedding day is going to be torture.

I went in still not really knowing what I wanted for my hair. I have been growing it ever since the engagement last January and it has gotten really long. Beyond that, I have looked at thousands (ok, maybe dozens) of bridal magazines and websites searching for a hairstyle I liked. Turns out I spotted something in the hairdresser’s book and the lovely girl just created it from there. I’m not revealing too much except to say that the keywords will be sleek and glam. My dress is kind of 1930s/40s so I wanted my hair to fit the style. I can reveal it will be a half-half affair – half up and half down.

The hairdresser didn’t realize my hair would take to rollers so well and we ended up with really tight curls everywhere! She promised me next time she will produce WAVES, not alarming curls. I hope she knows what she’s doing!

In the middle of my hot rollers she went and cut two other people’s hair and did a wax job! I was horrified and annoyed, but mum just put her hand on my arm and told me to be patient. She always calms me down. I guess it is a small-town hairdresser and they had other appointments that morning, but sheesh! Customer service people!

Freshly coiffed, we drove to town to go to my first dress fitting. Arriving on time, we found our harried dressmaker running 20mins behind so my mother and I took a half hour lunch break at a nearby café. She still wasn’t done when we returned to the boutique so we plopped ourselves down on some chairs and admired the beautiful dresses. The other shop lady produced a copy of Martha Stewart Weddings (which in all my bridal magazine obsession phase I had never seen before) and we read that while waiting.

When she was finally finished with her customer the poor dressmaker apologized but honestly, I didn’t mind. Mum asked her if she’d eaten all day and she said no, on Saturdays they have back-to-back appointments so they never even break for lunch! The life of a small business owner I guess. Well, I was happy to wait because their work is exquisite and I really feel like a princess when I go there. I am so happy that I didn’t choose to import a cheap Chinese dress and that the one that I have bought is within my budget PLUS I get personalized service!

So into the gown I went, a little squeeze and it was on. I couldn’t even wear the strapless bra I’d bought especially for it! Dressmaker insisted I didn’t need it anyway. Dammit, there’s $80 down the drain (but hopefully we can return it!). It’s true the dress really does hold everything in, even though it doesn’t have a corset. For the first time since adolescence I will not be wearing a bra with my DDs in public! Scary.

I got pinned up (straps, darts and hemlines) and then we measured where the thing will bustle. Oh my, I had forgotten just how much material was in the train. Heh.

I was happy to note that my shoes matched the dress! I had used a fabric swatch, but still, there’s always that nagging doubt. Was also pleased that this time we were allowed to take photos – so mum snapped away, no doubt thinking of adding the photos to her scrapbook album later! Oh man, it is going to be so much fun scrapbooking this wedding!

After making another appointment for a final fitting, we headed home and collapsed. Turns out all that waiting around is really exhausting!

Invitation Hell

I never actually got around to sending out Save The Date cards. I planned it, I even designed one, but I never got around to actually DOING it.

And if it wasn't for my mother, I probably would never have completed our wedding invitations either. We got past Christmas and New Year and all of a sudden went into full-on panic mode. She pushed me to make choices, and get it done. Nicely, of course.

Being the completely stationery fiend that I am, I was really looking forward to this part of the process. But oh, the pain... too much choice! I was paralysed by fear, unable to make a decision.

Should we have them printed completely?

Should we have them printed in pieces and assemble ourselves?

Should we do it completely DIY?

What paper?

What cardstock?

Vellum?

Font???

And that's just the stationery part. I spend hours online, looking at sites that will do it all for you, bespoke stationers and even goddam Vistaprint. I compared prettiness with prices and agonized.

Then there was the guest list. I had C's mum make one and my mum make one. Then I mushed them together with the one we had made and out came a list. I downloaded a spreadsheet (god, I don't even remember where, it could have been theknot.com.au) and filled out names. Then came the laborious process of finding out addresses and spelling.

In the meantime, I went to Spotlight and purchased a crapload of stuff (paper, card, envelopes, brads, stickers) from the Mix It range. I did this for two reasons.

1. It was cost-effective

2. At least I knew everything would coordinate

Here is the pretty paper I chose.

Hmm. I think I know why I use Creative Memories for my scrapbooking now! I am hopeless at matching things! Also we bought vellum. Because apparently that's what you have on invites that you make yourself.

So once this was sorted then I had to figure out the goddamn wording. Oh my gods. And I thought choosing the bloody paper was hard. Mr & Mrs? Husband's name first? Mr & Mrs David Smith or Mr David Smith & Mrs Lily Smith? Or just David & Lily Smith? Or Lily & David? What if they're not married? Do I include people's surnames on the invite or just their first name? What about "+1" for singles? What about people with children? And what exactly do you write for the rest?

In the end I decided to put Mr D Smith on the envelopes, and first names only on the invites. I added "& friend" for singles; and "& family" for folks with kids. I printed out cards with our wedding registry info on them onto leftover card (which was great, saved us having to go around there and pick up the cards ourselves). We're using Wedding List Co. as they have a large variety of items from many different brands and everything can be done online. I'll let you know how that goes! I then googled "wedding invitation wording" and picked one that I liked to use as a template.

So then I got Microsoft Word-ing and printing, then mum got slicing with her guillotine. I'd decided on DL size envelopes, so to keep it simple we made a one-page DL invite with four layers: Cream card, pink pretty paper, actual invite on plain cream paper, vellum. Secured with a tiny brad shaped like a heart, they looked cracking, if I do say so myself.

I chose two fonts: one called Jane Austen for a handwritten cursive (used for the names), and Remington for a typewriter plain font (for the rest of the words). They looked amazing together.

And then just when I thought I'd finished everything, I remembered I had to print envelopes too. Bugger. But hey, they did look bloody fantastic all printed with Remington font.

The big problem is I can't really show you any because they all had my guest's names on them! And my wedding details, of course.

Here are a couple of pics I took though, that give you an idea.

In conclusion: it was hard work, but not that hard. We spent maybe $60 all up on about 40 invites, not including postage. I think we got out of it pretty well, actually!

Tell me about your invites - easy, hard, hellish? Expensive, cheap, DIY?

The Dress

I found my wedding dress. It is bought. And no, it's not any of those pictured above!

This is kind of amazing to me. I started looking comparatively late (ie. last week) and didn't really realise until I saw the shop-girls' looks of consternation that I should have started at least 3 months earlier. Because they have to order dresses and things. Who knew?

Yes, yes. I know I should have realised this. But I have been putting off looking forever for no good reason and thankfully my mother, suddenly calculating that we only have 11 weeks to go, gave me a hard push and took me shopping.

There are about 5 bridal boutiques in my home town. We went to 4 of them. Here's how it went.

Day 1 - we dropped into a small boutique in the main street. The shop was empty, but we were told we had to make an appointment. (This was where I learnt that you should always ring ahead). So we made one for 45mins from that point and left. We went across the road to the biggest bridal boutique, the one that was always hassling me at wedding expos to go visit them. The girl was about 16, skinny beyond belief and wearing nude gladiator heels. I liked her anyway. She was happy to let me try dresses without an appointment so I managed to squeeze into 2 before we had to go back for our other appointment.

The 2nd one I tried was pretty amazing - ivory with lots of diagonal pleats, it was so 1920s and yet not. I was not allowed to take a photo of it as gladiator girl advised they had an agreement with the designer not to allow photography. I was allowed to take a pic of the first one though, apparently the designer of that one was cool. (I'm not going to share it with you though, sorry. It was unflattering, but fulfilled my desire to see what a princess ballgown would look like on me. It was hot, heavy and extremely hard to move about in. HOW DO THOSE GYPSY BRIDES DO IT?)

We exited and went back to the first shop. There, the shop-girl was lovely but their range was not huge. She managed to squeeze me into about 4 dresses (one would not fit over my bust, or hips. That's what happens when you try to squeeze a size 20+ girl into a size 10 dress!), none of which I liked. There was one though, that was full-on gold satin with pleats and the hugest train imaginable... it was like something Christina Aguilera would wear. This shop had a strict no photography rule for all dresses, and even a sign saying 'Please do not be offended if we ask you to delete any photos you take'. Whoa.

Day 2

We booked an appointment at the oldest bridal boutique in town. I rang the lady at about 9am, she said she was there on here own and had been doing fittings since 6.30am that morning. Poor thing. When I showed up for my appointment I found a fussy old lady who talked a lot, took one look at me and announced she didn't have much on the rack for me. When she heard about my 11 week time-frame, she said it was too late to order a dress at all and I would have to buy off the rack if I wanted anything from there. She was an incredibly slow fitter, but managed to squeeze me into two dresses, neither of which were very nice. The first one cut my shoulders something horrible with its beaded sleeves. I really couldn't get over her negativity, and vowed unless I saw something amazing we wouldn't be buying there. I didn't, and we left.

As we were walking out, I suggested to mum we head back up the arcade as earlier I had walked past a small boutique that hadn't come up on Google Maps or in my Yellow Pages search. It was a tiny place but packed with dresses. The sign said it did couture dresses. OMG. Couture. I have wanted a couture dress ever since seeing a magazine in the newsagent. I looked at mum, raised an eyebrow. She shrugged and walked in.

The lady (I couldn't call her a shop-girl, she was middle-aged and perfectly turned out. I learned later she is a DESIGNER) was lovely. I explained our short time-frame, our budget and asked if they would have anything to suit. She did, pulled two dresses off their rack and said I didn't need an appointment to try anything on.

The first dress was exactly what I didn't want. I had told her I want a skirt of tulle, organza or other light material and that I wasn't a fan of satin. This dress was a strapless full satin number in a champagne shade and extremely shiny. It had a bit of bling but did have the pleats I had heard were so flattering to the larger bride. The second was a white empire-line fantasy in tulle, it was positively Grecian. Oh, it was lovely. I grudgingly said I would try the first dress first, as something someone had told me was niggling the back of my mind: NEVER JUDGE A DRESS ON THE HANGER.

Well. As the lady did up the zip she remarked it could have been made for me. I rotated 90 degrees to glimpse myself in the mirror and had one of those moments. You know, the ones where you go "LIGHTBULB!". It was definitely made for me. And you know what? Suddenly it didn't matter that it was satin-y and shiny. It was utterly gorgeous on and gives me a waist like you would not believe. I can only describe it as a 1940s feel, with drapes and pleats and all sorts of things going on. It has a small train which we can bustle, and diamante spaghetti straps which we can add if I don't want to go totally strapless. It's not exactly couture, but it is the shop's own design so I know I won't see many other brides wearing it. Plus, it was priced in our budget.

I love it. Mum does too and we bought it. Yay!

Now comes the next step - accessories. Shoes, veil, earrings, necklace...

Magazine Overload

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Bridal Magazines. Just those two words used to be enough to make me go wide-eyed and gooey. I'd skirt the bridal section in the newsagent, surreptitiously glancing at the covers and drinking in the beautiful details. Cover stories leapt out at me enticingly, attempting to lure me closer with their articles about venue ideas, wedding favours, bridesmaid advice and honeymoon destinations with palm trees and colourful cocktails. I was obsessed.

And yet, I rarely ever picked them up to browse, much less got up the courage to BUY one. I had this feeling that I wasn't allowed. That they were SPECIAL magazines, made only for those who were actually engaged and planning a wedding. As I grew older and the chances of marriage grew more remote, I grew paranoid. I felt like getting caught flipping through the pages of a bridal magazine would earn me glances. That people would be thinking in their head, "You're TERRIBLE Muriel!".

Yes, I think the film Muriel's Wedding gave me a complex about bridal magazines. Poor Muriel's obsession with getting married despite not having a partner never stopped her from indulging in those things that are normally only the preserve of the affianced. I thought that looking at bridal magazines when I wasn't engaged would make people think I was a desperate, lonely, sad old spinster. I waited until I was engaged two whole days before purchasing my first one.

Now that was a good feeling. It was like eating forbidden fruit!

Since, I've learnt that some ladies actually do browse, read and purchase these mags when not engaged to be married. Some without the strange shame that I attached to such an act myself… and I envy those women! Perhaps I could have gotten my obsession out of my system sooner.

It took about three months for the shine to wear off. Three months of buying a new bridal mag every fortnight, sometimes two. My mother was buying them for me too, I think she was taking as much delight in them as I was. And there was endless variety - from the big, thick glossy ones that weigh a ton to the smaller, matte-paged boutique publications. I amassed quite a collection, and followed the advice of every wedding planning article I read by starting an inspiration board. I quickly filled it up and forgot about it, though my partner was nice enough to hang it on the wall outside the office.

And then, the magazines started to lose their appeal. They all started to look the same. I didn’t want to spend $15 on a mag that had 150+ pages of wedding dresses (and the rest advertising) any more. And there are only so many articles that can be written on speech etiquette, after all. Only so many bridesmaid gift guides that one girl can stomach. And certainly there is a limit to the number of shoe options one woman could possibly need.

I stopped buying them. I started booking vendors, and planning the “look” of my ceremony and reception. I actually found that I had gotten more inspiration from online bridal blogs than the magazines I and my mother had spent a fortune on. True, there were some like Real Weddings that showcase wonderful real wedding days that were wonderful, and I am grateful for these magazines and also ones like White, that have such a different focus than the “glossies”.

Now I’ve settled on things like colour scheme and flowers, my pile of bridal magazines are gathering dust. I’m curious what other people do with theirs.

Do you pass them on?
Do you throw them out?
Do you stash and treasure, to flip through at a leisurely pace at some point in the years to come?

I’m also curious about YOUR thoughts on bridal magazines. Are you a sneaky reader? Ever bought one/two/many when you weren’t planning a wedding? Ever been called a Muriel?

P.S. I've also stopped reading bridal blogs. Frankly, they are getting intimidating!

Honeymoon hiccup

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My partner and I have been fortunate enough to receive our honeymoon as a gift. Essentially, his father received a 5-night Fiji holiday as a Christmas bonus last year, and he has transferred it to C's name.

I made a terrible assumption - that we could book for whatever date we pleased. I kept putting off calling the travel agent, thinking I'll get to that when I get to that. Mistake.

Today I rang them, and apparently for this particular package, they only have spaces for a set number of couples for any given date. For our wedding date, the next available departure and stay is fully booked out. As is the next 4 weeks.

The nice travel agent man patiently explained to me that the next trip we can take after our wedding would be the first week of May. As we are getting married in late March, this is not ideal.

I'm annoyed at myself, but also comforted by the fact that even if we had booked months ago, we still wouldn't have got the departure after our wedding - it's the first weekend of school holidays, and was completely booked out straight away.

I've run all this past my darling partner, and he is not phased. And if he isn't, why shouldn't I be? After all, it's a free holiday - we shouldn't mind having to wait 5 weeks after our wedding to take it.

When did you take your honeymoon? Where did you go?